Once upon a time Leeds' bands Humanfly and Shields went on a lovely picnic. Scotch eggs were necked and turbo-booze was quaffed. A game of Hide The Duck was suggested. 'Why not!' was the general consensus and several members of both bands scurried off and hid in a magical tree stump.
This was no ordinary magical tree stump, however, it was the legendary Christ-On-A-Bike Magical Tree Stump Of Doom. Crikey.
Stuff happened. Unmentionable stuff. And also mentionable stuff, though the mentionable stuff was a bit boring. And from this 'stuff' there emerged a figure.....no, hold on....five figures. And these figures called themselves Kings. And Kings they were.
A night of mayhem ensued as they got the Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse stupidly drunk then stole their trusty steeds (AND kissed their girlfriends), rode off into the skies and proceeded to shower the inhabitants of Earth with a gift. A gift made from one part angel-wings and two parts demon-testicles. This gift, ladies and gentlemen, is Kings wonderful debut CD, 'I Trust The Hounds Are Hungry...'.
Opening track 'Lieutenant Wolfhammer' starts things off, fading in with continuous and repetitive guitars before vocalist John Sutcliffe's musky tones break in around half a minute in, introducing us to the full Kings' doom/metal-pop party experience. Stupidly infectious guitar riffery and crashing drums ensue before the tune becomes fully anthemic with a chorus of, " yesterday, **** today, **** tomorrow". Harsh words. But also beautiful words..
Track two, 'Matron, Hand Me My Revolver, I'm Going For a Walk In The Woods, I May Be Some Time...', then blasts forwards in full-on Sabbath mode whilst also using up most of my word count by typing its very name. Glorious stuff. The contradictory opening refrain of "Oh yeah, oh no" sticks in your head for hours after listening. Angry and uplifting in equal measures. Like you when you've drank lots of beer.
The E.P. continues in a blitz of effortless vocals (apart from instrumental track Sht Leopard), beefy riffs, superstyle drumming and fantastically sweary song-titles. Something about the whole thing reminds me of vikings. Noisy, sexy vikings. I don't know why this is but it's definitely a good thing. To be honest I can't even concentrate on writing this review as I just keep tracking back the songs to listen to them again. It's that good.
For fans of the afore-mentioned Black Sabbath, Black Moth, air-guitar playing and, of course, Humanfly/Shields, there was never any doubt that this debut was going to be a corker considering the musical history and talent of the people involved but it really is truly exceptional and I don't imagine it will be long before Kings are heralded as one of Leeds' greats.
'I Trust The Hounds Are Hungry...' is due for release on the 5th of July. I'd advise you to buy a copy. In fact, the legendary Christ-On-A-Bike Magical Tree Stump Of Doom commands it.