A couple of Sheffield websites have kind things to say about Dangerlust, a band formed last year out of a previously ditched project called Floater. They have a female singer called Rachel and blokes called Tony, Paul and Mikey playing instruments. They don't advertise surnames. They claim to be somewhere between the Wildhearts and Britney Spears, and announce a mission to launch "a two pronged (and fingered) assault on the tedious and the pompous".
"Forget About It" is a sludgy drag through some major chords and a generic "pop" song, with Rachel doing a standard out-of-tune singer thing. My iTunes player thinks it's called "I Call Your Name" by Swedish flop idols A-HA. But it does get the timing right - it's a mind-numbing four minutes 53 seconds. In all that time nothing happens that you haven't heard a million times before, even if it isn't always played and recorded this badly.
"Sorry But" continues the assault on the pompous with a cheap swipe at he un-pompous as well. Fast and clumsy is only part of it. There are some excruciatingly mistimed tempo changes, truly terrible singing and all-over-the place crap guitar. Horrible.
"Lie" starts better, but Rachel comes in with her trademark out-of-tune singing, and before long it's back in the school hall with the GCSE band project. It's a slow tune with failed attempts at rock-out moments.
It's not just that Dangerlust have a stupid copy of Metallica's logos all over their "merch" (ugh). It isn't just that they have no recognisable musical talent. Apart from being (probably) quite fun people, they also lack any sense of subversion, adventure, invention or creativity. My suggestion is that if you can't sing in tune, can't keep time and have no creative ideas, don't send out demos. There is no national shortage of below average pub rock bands. Dangerlust still have work to do before they reach that level.