By Various Artists
And on the 6th day, The Heathen Angel came forth and said to God: "I have made a compilation CD of the 20 hottest unsigned bands around the country and I shall sell it to mankind for the princely sum of... £1."
And God replied: "Are you crazy? That will bankrupt us. We are only a small indie label. Who is on this so-called compilation of yours huh? What will make people buy this and not the excellent new Low compilation?"
And the Heathen Angel replied: "If we put the acts out there, people will buy it. Drinkme are the Drugstore for the noughties, complete with addictive, supremely hummable choruses that will be on repeat ad infinitum. I have sought out the Carrie Tree, whose simplistic harmonies could feed a thousand and whose voice would drag sailors to their downfall. I have searched the breadth of the country for the Geneva crescendos of Barfly and the Postroom Philosophy of Toby Macfarlaine. How does that grab you mighty God?"
And God replied: "That is good Heathen Angel but do not be complacent. Where is the off kilter funkball that will have people screaming to hear more?
And the Heathen Angel replied: "Have you ever heard of Art Brut? Yeah, well Flop Idol Dan take their St. Martins ideology and multiply the fun factor by seven and chuck in a brilliantly deranged Simon Says chorus for good measure. Will that satiate you God?"
And smiling, God replied: "You have done well Heathen Angel. You have proved your worth and made a truly great compilation CD for just one human pound. Go forth and spread the word."