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Swallowing Curses by Merchandise

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Reviewed on 14th August 2004.

 
 

Swallowing Curses

By Merchandise

Welcome to my Casio hell. The programming here is not exactly inspiring and smells suspiciously like someone just hit the 'demo' button. Supermarket aisle keyboards stab at your ears with the dullest guitar part ever (one strum per chord, per bar all the way through the song). It's just pointless. The vocal line is fairly interesting at least and the melody isn't particularly bad, it just would have sounded better on just a plain old piano rather than that godawful keyboard!

Distinctly unimpressed with side A I flip over the vinyl for 'Terracotta Caterpillars'. Oh sweet Jesus no. This is bad. An instrumental which sounds like an infant has been given free control of a one of those really small and nasty Casios that you had as a kid, not even one of the half decent ones, those that were about the length of a ruler. They've hit demo again, randomly hit notes on the keyboard and created the aural version of Satan's diarrhea. If they are clever enough to press songs on vinyl then Merchandise should have been wise enough to know that this is a sweating bag of knackers. Truly, I'm not being harsh here, it's awful.

 

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On 14th August 2004 at 09:08 Dave LMS wrote...

I had a listen to their sound clip on the site, and didn't think it was that bad actually... granted it wasn't the song you reviewed. But I could find myself liking them I think...

 

On 14th August 2004 at 14:22 Anonymous 251 wrote...

Woeful.

 
 
 

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