On 22nd March 2006 at 08:21 Anonymous 3028 wrote...
I take it you didn't like it then Lauren???
By Good Shoes
With this CD comes a challenge, in three stages. Each level increases in difficulty. Are you ready? They are as such.
Game No. 1: see how accurately you can carry on clapping in time with the escalating, clicky little guitar snap things during the introduction to first track 'We Are Not The Same'.
Game No. 2: come up with a decent joke about their shoes being, actually, really bad that hasn't been used fifty-four times already.
Game No. 3: work out if Good Shoes really are much cop, or whether they're a bit cack, really.
Sure, there's a shower of snotty little flecks of phlegm. There's a shiny, metallic bucketful of bitchy little chops of guitar. There's probably some heavily intricate and impressive mathematical formulae flying around in front of these guys' irises as well, but they're far too busy being rather clumsy to follow through and reach any sort of neat, clever, swish solution. Instead, little lightbulbs of inspiration teasingly flicker at us for a few seconds, flashing us promises of cool jerky junkpieces, spittle-driven trashypunk and viciously apathetic, sneering chants like "Everybody in this town is oh so strange!" Then it all pops pathetically like a half-deflated-already balloon and whimpers off to piddle around in the corner.
Consisting mainly of two parts flat shouting, three parts raw, unadulterated and unrefined (but not in the thirsty, sexy way) bass multiplied by offcuts of gritty, salty, unchewable guitar that no one ever really wants to eat but has them bunged in for an extra fifty pence anyway, then subjected to the square root of Boring, Unstructured, Directionless Sodding About, it's all a bit limp. In short, they need some TUNES, for lord's sakes; something to grab you by the earlobes, scratch you to pieces and shake your insides out onto the road. Neither of these do they possess. The last song is called 'Things To Make And Do' - well, I suggest they find some better ones.