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What's The Miles Per Gallon, Alan? by Zapped By A Million Volts

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Reviewed on 1st February 2007.


What's The Miles Per Gallon, Alan?

By Zapped By A Million Volts

The world is going to end and we're all going to die. Good - no more Sharon Osbourne, Davina McCall or patriotic Scottish tennis fans. Yip Yipee Yoo.

But no music either. With limited time to listen to our favourite albums, we must start spinning discs - NOW! Do it, before we're all underwater / embedded in drought / playing with tornados etc etc.

I'm listening as I write this - in fact, I don't even know why I'm writing this considering we'll all be dead before you can say "piranha blowjob." Gee, Backstreet Boys' 'Millenium' still sounds as fresh and exciting as it was way back in the nineties though.

Hell, I'm so scared by the prospect of early death that I've made myself a checklist of essential listening matter. Unfortunately, Zapped By A Million Volts don't quite make the cut.

You see, 'What's The Miles Per Gallon, Alan?' is good fun for a while, but doesn't reach the boundaries of essential due to its short lifespan - after a few listens the novelty wears off and we're in 'choppy' indie familiarisation territory. However, brownie points to Grace Records for their press release, in which I am tasked. One last one before imminent death then, if I must.

The task at hand is to "draw musical comparisons." Drat. The most fun part of this music malarkey is reading about hot new bands and how 'The Pillock Of The Gibbon Shroud' sound like "a Libertinsed up Radiohead meets Slayer."

Despite being deprived of my sadist chuckles, I've never been one to shy away from an escapade such as this. With this particular release missing "hyperbole and unfounded zeal" I feel the world would benefit from a revised version. With time running out I rack my brains and begin my final quest before the world reaches its belated end...

Dear LMS,

Zapped By A Million Volts are shit hot. They play Maximo Park riffs in a funked up style at breakneck speed. Angular guitars rub off on each other in the same manner that Lib Dems do on secluded fields. Check them out before it's too late - they really are a joy to behold.

(Translation) Zapped By A Million Voltz are quite good. They play an interesting mixture of indie and punk that isn't exactly revolutionary, but impresses all the same. Check them out.

I expect to see the former statement on their website.



All replies to this article. Log in to post a reply.

On 1st February 2007 at 17:48 Anonymous 4015 wrote...

I have no idea what's going on.


On 2nd February 2007 at 09:32 Anonymous 30 wrote...

I'm going to confused.com....I've seen it on the telly



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