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Inventing The Pildo EP by Grannys4skin

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Reviewed on 21st December 2008.


Inventing The Pildo EP

By Grannys4skin

With their abrasive, cartoonish vocals and shock-tactic lyrics, Grannys4Skin aren't going to be to everyone's taste.

It's saying something when the fluttery, alt-country jaunt of 'Whoop Shank Bong' is one of a release's more conventional songs. It's also their strongest offering, with an irresistibly bouncy drumbeat, likeably dumb gang vocals and bursts of country-and-western-on-speed violin. It all makes for a punk-paced, hoedown-loving piece of twisted genius that's as infectious as it is irritating. Best of all, it clocks in at under two minutes, so it's over before the novelty value has a chance to wear off.

Second track 'Look At Me' is an odd combination of hoarse vocals, bright riffs and twinkling synths, which really shouldn't work as well as it does. The chorus doesn't quite live up to the verses, as the drum-bursts and shrapnel-like vocals prove slightly too disjointed to be properly catchy.

Overall, 'Look At Me' is less hook-packed than 'Whoop Shank Bong,' but its essential dumbness is still worryingly addictive.

'Wine Me Dine Me' is by far the strangest track on this EP. It ricochets between a nasal mock-female vocal that sounds bizarrely like Cartman from South Park; funky, boy band-aping harmonies; and gang vocals shouted over a riotous, punky riff. As it lurches from one ridiculous-sounding section to the next, it's easy to write 'Wine Me Dine Me' off as a joke. However, the no-brainer vocals are surprisingly catchy and, before you know it, Grannys4Skin's lyrical nastiness will have well and truly wormed its way into your head.

Just when you thought you had Grannys4Skin pegged, they throw a complete curveball in the form of the straight-faced, epic-sounding 'Boy Cried Wolf.' Driven by a marching drumbeat and with plenty of wailing violins, 'Boy Cried Wolf' is a glacial-cool rock song, complete with soaring chorus. But the biggest surprise is the accomplished vocal performance, which makes you wonder what Grannys4Skin are playing at with the comedy vocals of the rest of this EP.

They also put an unexpectedly stylish twist on 'Boy Cried Wolf's lyrics, giving it a mythological feel that, together with the atmospheric violins, conspire to make it sound surprisingly epic.

After three songs of likeable silliness, you'll find yourself scrutinising 'Boy Cried Wolf' for some trace of humour, but there really doesn't seem to be any. 'Boy Cried Wolf' is just a non-serious band having a straight-faced moment. Odd.

Grannys4Skin are a mass of contradictions. They strike a perfect balance between annoyingly catchy, and just plain annoying, producing something that will set your teeth on edge even as it fixes itself in your skull. They also seem determined to alienate their audience with their mental vocals and crude lyrics, while proving that, if they wanted to, they could do 'serious' music very well.

'Inventing The Pildo' is a release the vast majority of people will hate, but a minority will go absolutely mental for. An acquired taste, to say the least.



All replies to this article. Log in to post a reply.

On 8th January 2009 at 14:19 Anonymous 7230 wrote...

I have to disagree with this article. I've had the fortune to listen to this EP and I have to say that it is unequivocally the best thing I've ever experienced.

It is a masterpiece, an opus, a work of art.

If I had to describe it, I'd like to think of it as a jacuzzi for the ears.



On 8th January 2009 at 14:47 Anonymous 6414 wrote...

Yeah definitely worth more than 3 stars as far as I'm concerned. Makes a nice difference to all those bands bending over backwards to be genre-specific. If it's a good song get it out there and 'Boy Cried Wolf' is a great song. This band are genuinely entertaining, not annoying. I didn't see any alienated people in the audience at The Brudenell, just a load of people having an ace time dancing with big smiles on their faces.


On 8th January 2009 at 15:31 Anonymous 7172 wrote...

The point I was trying to get across was that if you played this EP to ten people picked at random, half of them would think it was the most amazing thing they'd ever heard, and half of them wouldn't be able to stand it! If they toned things down a little, more people would probably think they were okay, but less people would think they were amazing. It's always nice to see a band doing exactly what they want and not caring whether the masses like it or not, but I was taking into consideration the fact that some people really, really won't like this.
Saying that, I imagine they're really fun to see live!


On 8th January 2009 at 15:41 Anonymous 7230 wrote...

You bet they are, Jessica.

It's like an aural ballet, a feast for the senses.

I mean, I've abseiled at Center Parcs and seeing G4S live is a rush that far exceeds anything else I've ever experienced.


On 8th January 2009 at 17:10 Dave LMS wrote...

It obviously goes without saying that reviewing an EP is different to writing about the live show and the CD has to be reviewed on its own merits. An amazing live band that doesn't come across so well on CD cannot automatically score 10/10.

Re: the live show. I saw the band at the Brudenell recently and thought they were OK in that they were entertaining in the same way as I would consider Goldie Lookin' Chain entertaining (although I'm not comparing the two band's musically). I wouldn't gush over them, neither would I go out of my way to go and watch them. That said, I would happily stand at the front and watch them again. They fall into that middle ground for me, where they neither excite me nor annoy. I know what to expect and am happy with that. I know others, though, that really did find the show at the Brudenell rather grating and annoying. This is probably where Jessica is coming from.


On 9th January 2009 at 10:49 Anonymous 7230 wrote...

Thanks for clearing that up Dave, I wasn't aware that reviewing a CD and reviewing a live show were two entirely different processes of writing. Does that mean all the times I've listened to Bryan Adams : Live In Lisbon in my bedroom, I wasn't actually at the gig?

Anyway, I digress, I apologise for making light-hearted comments in support of a band I find both amusing an refreshing.

From now on I shall scathingly criticise their every move.



On 9th January 2009 at 12:32 Dave LMS wrote...

I did begin with it obviously goes without saying..., as I wasn't trying to suggest anything that was not already blindingly obvious. My comment was aimed at context setting as the discussion over the review of the CD was drifting into a discussion about their live show, and was leading into my next comment which also discussed their live show. I was not trying to suggest it was a concept you were not grasping, and I apologise if that's genuinely how I came across.


On 9th January 2009 at 16:32 Anonymous 6414 wrote...

If you played the Inventing The Pildo EP to ten people picked at random they'd all spontaneously start rutting. There'd be gush everywhere. Fact. Those people that found it grating and annoying or perhaps just a tad childish are poo poo pants.


On 12th January 2009 at 09:42 Anonymous 13 wrote...

Either poo poo pants or adults?

Well, to giant gray stacks comment "I didn't see any alienated people in the audience at The Brudenell", I would say "Of course not. The people who think the joke is tedious inanity have all gone somewhere else."

People who chose offensive images and names and images to advertise themselves, to show their courageous and uncaring sense of humour should be really delighted to find that people think they are probably offensive and infantile as people and as musicians and avoid their gigs and their music. Complaining about an adverse reaction, when the whole point was to display bad manners and poor taste seems perverse.

If being loved is what they want then I suggest Cuddly KIttens and Candy Floss would be more effective.


On 12th January 2009 at 11:32 Anonymous 7230 wrote...

You know what Sam? I think you may be right.

Clearly this band have a stunning lack of social skills. Evidently all they desire is to have the adulation of the discerning Leeds gig-goer yet they have completely negated this with their band name, song titles and lyrics.

If only someone would have told them at the start of their musical voyage that these things would upset the delicate sensibilities of some folk.

It's almost like they're trying to have a laugh and write some amusing songs, that are deliberately crass, for the amusement of some people who don't take the local "scene" too seriously.

But there is no way they'd do that; is there?


On 12th January 2009 at 13:12 Anonymous 6414 wrote...

Poo poo pants.


On 13th January 2009 at 11:46 Anonymous 7233 wrote...

Hi Jessica!

It's Liam from G4S here. Just wanted to say that all of the band were really chuffed with your review. We think you pretty much hit the nail on the head. Especially the bit about us not being to everyone's taste by the looks of things - ha.

Our next gig is on Feb 13th at The Brudenell. Get down - we owe you a beer or two.



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