By Piskie Sits
Do you wanna know how the music biz really works? Cos you are gonna have to accept that we all have psychic powers. That there is an eye inside our minds and we can talk to each other with it. This ability lays dormant in most folks, but some kids have exceptional mind power abilities. Some of them work for governments, assassinating heads of state with brain cancer, but the hip teenage ones work for the music biz. They use their psychic powers to CLEAN THE MINDS of bands the biz is thinking of investing in.
So if you are starting to get quite good on your guitar, you might start hearing voices in your head telling you to listen to the first Killers album, telling you to write a bunch of well produced pop songs, to do SIT UPS. No one wants to watch fat people play the guitar. It's just the ugly truth. A mysterious man might come to your house and teach you the chords to 'sultans of swing' by Die Straits. It's all very Naked Lunch.
This happened to Piskie Sits. The army of teenage psychic mind cleaners used their glowing minds to suggest that they have a wash and write some pop songs. But Piskie Sits fought them off with the power of their feedback sloppy indie messiness. The guitarist who looks like Jack Black unleashed a wall of psychic indie destruction from his improbably large board of effects pedals, and the sinister agents of The Man were defeated. Piskie Sits didn't care about being famous. They just wanted to rock out, and sleep all morning. For this, they will go to heaven and get to sit at the right hand of Steven Malkmus, and Yuck will be their servants. For ironically, the exact thing they have been doing for several years has suddenly become very fashionable. The best bands are always ahead of their time. They probably haven't even noticed.
I bought this e.p from Crash records on the Headrow. I like to imagine that when the careers advisors came to the school of that blonde chick who works in crash records, she said 'For a career, I'm going to be an indie boy wank fantasy. I'm going to stand aloof behind the counter in a leapordskin top and a band t shirt, and try and be cool about the fact that I am better than everyone else in the world. People will make fanzines about me'. She wasn't there when I bought my Piskie Sits record, but I like to think this nonetheless.
My girlfriend got me a 'I Love Puppies' calendar for my birthday. March puppy is the best. He is a little golden retriever, and he has such a big happy grin on his little face. He does look happy! Right now, I am not going outside at all much. I am just sitting looking at happy March puppy and listening to my Piskie Sits e.p, and I am having a great time. My favourite track is the one that bounces from side to side like Pavement dancing in a big bowl of strawberry jelly. It is track three. It isn't as good as when they play it live though, because you don't get to watch them all grinning at each other and dancing about and that. Still, the sleeve has a picture of them on it so you could hold it really close to your face while you played the e.p and waggle it from side to side, and it would be almost the same. I give Piskie Sits' new E.P seven out of ten.