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Trouble With Girls by Yellow Stripe Nine

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Reviewed on 8th December 2004.


Trouble With Girls

By Yellow Stripe Nine

Unfortunately, this is one time machine in musical form I do not want to step inside. The dapper young gentlemen from Yellow Stripe Nine (now abbreviated to YSN, folks - bewilderment! Confusion!) offer us forth upon their silver platter something that conjures up far too many nightmares involving being stalked down shadowy stately-home corridors by butlers with handlebar moustaches. A game of Cluedo in which death is by synth in the room dedicated to the worst possible musical blunders of the 1980s, quite possibly.

'Trouble With Girls' has a slimy bassline, a leering, sneering, smarmy voice dribbling all over it like an toothless, over-sexed python and a rhythm part dragged up from the dredges of the very deepest and darkest vaults of that which we call the somewhat disagreeable history of the drum machine. T'song improves slightly at one point when a number of people chant 'Sell, sell, sell', although you get the feeling that that is something that this CD, albeit in possession of a lovely lordly inlay, won't do.

A marginal improvement follows, courtesy of 'Cristal'. Equally grimy and nauseating, it does, however, have a redeeming chorus which you would attempt to sing along to if it were possible to hear a single word. Apart from the very last one, that is, which doesn't count anyway as the indulgent, voyeuristic, repulsively lusty intakes of breath before every articulation of the name 'Cristal' will make you congeal inside and lock up your daughters. Quite scary stuff, this - don't touch these smooth chancers with a barge-pole.



All replies to this article. Log in to post a reply.

On 9th December 2004 at 09:54 Anonymous 1944 wrote...

Ouch...that's gotta hurt


On 10th December 2004 at 11:30 Anonymous 841 wrote...

I really wouldn't worry, this is from the same reviewer who gave Ash's latest dull-as-arse offering 5/5! Sense? I don't think so. Get a bit of Charlotte Hatherley in you, that's decent music.


On 10th December 2004 at 11:38 Anonymous 1944 wrote...

So ash are dull and boring but the girl from ash makes decent music?! i find them both to be dull but hey what ever floats your boat


On 13th December 2004 at 17:25 Anonymous 841 wrote...

She is putting out way better stuff than her compadres at the moment, that's all I meant. Whatever floats your boat indeed, and opinion is indeed just opinion. I also like Cliff Richard.



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